Teddy Bear Jokes

Here are lots of funny bear jokes. I hope they make you laugh.

What's brown, furry and red?

A blushing teddy bear

 

What do you do with a green teddy bear?

Wait until he's ripe

 

What's the difference between a teddy bear and an apple?

Teddy bears don't grow on trees

 

What do teddy bears do when it rains?

They get wet

 

What do you call a teddy bear who's lost his fur?

Fred-bear

 

How do you make a teddy bear?

Take off his clothes

 

Why did Joe dress his bear in a cowboy suit?

Because the teddy couldn't dress himself

 

How do teddies keep their houses cool in summer?

They use bear conditioning

 

What's the difference between a teddy and a turkey?

If you don't know that, then I won't ask you to cook Christmas dinner

 

What's the difference between a teddy bear and a biscuit?

You don't dunk your teddy into your tea

 

What's cuddly and goes putt putt?

A teddy playing golf

 

What was teddy doing on the television?

Sleeping (there was no more room on the sofa)

What happens if teddy gets torn?

He runs and runs until he gets a stitch

 

 Why is the letter 'D' like a bear's tummy button?

Because they are both in the middle of teddy

 

How do teddy bears keep fit?

They do a lot of bear-obics

 

What do you get if you cross a teddy with a toaster?

A bear that keeps popping out all night

 

Why do teddies wear fur coats?

Because they'd look silly in shiny, red macs

 

Why do purple teddy bears eat less than brown teddy bears?

Because there are fewer of them

 

How do teddy bears dress on very cold days?

Quickly

 

How do teddies send their letters?

By bear mail

 

How do teddy bears go on holiday?

By bear-o-plane

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