Teddy Bear Jokes

Here are lots of funny bear jokes. I hope they make you laugh.

What's brown, furry and red?

A blushing teddy bear


What do you do with a green teddy bear?

Wait until he's ripe


What's the difference between a teddy bear and an apple?

Teddy bears don't grow on trees


What do teddy bears do when it rains?

They get wet


What do you call a teddy bear who's lost his fur?



How do you make a teddy bear?

Take off his clothes


Why did Joe dress his bear in a cowboy suit?

Because the teddy couldn't dress himself


How do teddies keep their houses cool in summer?

They use bear conditioning


What's the difference between a teddy and a turkey?

If you don't know that, then I won't ask you to cook Christmas dinner


What's the difference between a teddy bear and a biscuit?

You don't dunk your teddy into your tea


What's cuddly and goes putt putt?

A teddy playing golf


What was teddy doing on the television?

Sleeping (there was no more room on the sofa)

What happens if teddy gets torn?

He runs and runs until he gets a stitch


 Why is the letter 'D' like a bear's tummy button?

Because they are both in the middle of teddy


How do teddy bears keep fit?

They do a lot of bear-obics


What do you get if you cross a teddy with a toaster?

A bear that keeps popping out all night


Why do teddies wear fur coats?

Because they'd look silly in shiny, red macs


Why do purple teddy bears eat less than brown teddy bears?

Because there are fewer of them


How do teddy bears dress on very cold days?



How do teddies send their letters?

By bear mail


How do teddy bears go on holiday?

By bear-o-plane